I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
ugly people sure do ruin things
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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