Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
