We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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