I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My feet surprised me
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
