matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
