I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
