Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
