I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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