this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
how drunk are you?
Several
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
