so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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