I cockslap morals
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
