Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
