he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize