I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
