I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
