we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
