his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
