And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
