Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
