are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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