Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
