There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
