Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
