I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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