This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Vodka?
Forever.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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