My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
