Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
