Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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