We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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