i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
