You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
