dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
