The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I pour the whiskey from now on
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
