Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
