It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
