You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
