Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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