I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
