I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
