I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
