I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
do herpes really smell.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
