Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
