Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
