i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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