He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
