last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just want nice things and good sex
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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