You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
