i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
