Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
