sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
