i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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